There are few topics upon which more has been written at various times than the custom of paying calls, with its attendant ceremony of card-leaving; yet all this has not cleared up its difficulties in the minds of many women, if one may judge by the numerous inquiries received by papers which make a special feature of their etiquette pages. Yet, after all, the principles underlying the etiquette of calls and card-leaving are very simple…

‘Etiquette for Every Day – Calls and Card Leaving’, Cassell’s Household Guide, 1912

During the 19th and early 20th centuries, the etiquette of ‘calling’ was a firmly observed rule of society and calling (or visiting) cards were an essential part of introductions, invitations and visits. They evolved as a means for people to enter into an elite social circle and, perhaps more importantly, for those already within the circle to keep out the unwanted. Far from being very simple, as Cassell’s Household Guide implies, the rules were many and complex.

A form of visiting card was used by the ancient Egyptians for presentation at the temples where they worshipped… Thus, as artificial a custom as the use of calling cards had its origin in religious ceremonial, says historian Joan Wildeblood (The Polite World , 1973.)

In France, ‘Visite Biletes’, or visiting cards, were originally playing cards upon which the visitors had signed their names. These evolved into the first visiting cards which became an established fashion at the court of Louis XIV. By the end of the 18th century the custom had been adopted by fashionable society throughout Europe, a development from a time when visitors who found their friends ‘not at home’ wrote their names in a book or on a slate.

Individual cards must have been introduced during the 1820s and 1830s and were of a more or less uniform size by the 1840s, says Noel Riley (Visiting Card Cases, 1983.) A lady’s card was generally larger than a gentleman’s. It would be glazed, whereas a gentleman’s was small, thin and un-glazed in case he wished to add his address in pencil and a glazed surface was impractical.

It was during the 19th century that calling developed into a highly complicated pattern of etiquette to which all ladies and gentlemen who aspired to the ranks of genteel society conformed. Visiting cards were considered quite as efficacious as personal visits in maintaining polite contact between acquaintances. However, the first principle of paying calls was that of knowing who should call upon whom.

Contrary to the etiquette of calling, where the residents of long standing called upon newcomers, card-leaving was done by those who had just arrived in a place, says Joan Wildeblood. A caller left one card for the lady of the house, a second card was left for the master of the house, and should there be a grown-up son, or near male relative in the house, a third card was left. A husband was considered too busy for visiting so this duty was carried out by his wife; she would take her husband’s card with her. If a gentleman wished to call for reasons other than business, his call would be made upon the lady of the house, not upon the master.

As well as the etiquette of the giving and receiving of calling cards, a habit evolved of folding parts of a card to convey other messages (although a gentleman never ‘cornered’ his card):

• Felicitation – the left-hand upper corner;
• Condolence – the left-hand lower corner;
• Felicitations to include the daughter(s) – the right-hand upper corner;
• PPC (pour prendre conge: to take leave, a card left at a farewell visit before a long absence) – the right-hand lower corner.

After leaving one’s card or cards, there was the follow-up visit. Generally, calls were paid between 3 pm and 6 pm on designated At Home days. Not at Home didn’t actually mean that someone was physically absent but simply that they were not receiving visitors. People avoided calling in the morning when most people were busy but, strangely enough, afternoon calls were called Morning Calls, the reason being they were made before dinner, a tradition from when the main meal was served at 1 pm. You can see from all this just how carefully one must tread through this veritable social minefield.

During the early part of the 20th century the occasions for card-leaving were many: after balls, receptions, private theatricals, concerts and dinners. However, the etiquette of calling gradually dropped and by the 1950s the custom of card-leaving was dead, its place having been taken by the thank you note often accompanied by flowers.

Finally, it should be noted that the popular portrait photographs of Victorian and Edwardian times, known as cartes de visite, were not, despite their name, used as calling cards.